Forgiveness has always been hard for me.

I wish I could say that when someone hurts me, I can simply forgive, move on, and never think about it again. But that’s not how it works for me.

Maybe it’s because I’ve always believed that forgiveness and forgetting go hand in hand. And if I’m being honest, forgetting is the part I struggle with most.

As much as I don’t like admitting it, I tend to hold on to things. When someone deeply hurts me, the wound may heal, but the memory often stays. I can forgive, but I still remember. Sometimes those feelings resurface when I least expect them, and I find myself revisiting old hurts I thought I had already laid down.

For a long time, I’ve wondered what that says about me. Does remembering mean I haven’t really forgiven? Does carrying the scar make me an unforgiving person?

I don’t think so.

I think some hurts simply take longer to heal than others.

These days, I’m learning that forgiveness isn’t always a single moment. Sometimes it’s a process. Sometimes it’s choosing, over and over again, not to let bitterness take root in your heart. It’s trusting that healing can happen even when the memory remains.

The truth is, I’m still learning. Still healing. Still trying to loosen my grip on the things that hurt me.

And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened. Maybe it’s about carrying the memory differently—without letting it harden your heart.

Like many things in life, this is a journey I’m still walking. One small step at a time, with God’s grace lighting the path ahead.