The Lantern Heart

When I was sixteen, I remember sitting with my parents and older brother, discussing my options for a college degree. At the time, I knew music was something I was truly passionate about, and since I had dreamed of becoming a teacher since I was six years old, teaching music felt like the perfect career for me.

However, I vividly recall my family convincing me otherwise. They pointed out that teaching didn’t pay well and encouraged me to consider a degree in nursing—a field with abundant job opportunities and great pay. But deep down, I knew I didn’t want to become a nurse.

After weighing different degree and university options, I eventually pursued a degree in computers. To be honest, I hated it. Every major subject was a struggle, and though I never failed a class, it took me almost four years of relentless effort to pass each one.

One of the classes I took during my undergraduate studies was Psychology, and from the very first lecture, I was hooked. I loved the topics, the discussions, and the way the subject resonated with me. In fact, it ended up being my highest grade of all! I knew I would excel if I pursued a degree in Psychology.

During a semester break, I gathered the courage to ask my mother if I could switch majors. But the idea was immediately shut down—no discussion, no consideration—just a firm insistence that it was more convenient to stick to the original plan. Wanting to be the obedient child I had always strived to be, I stayed the course. Years later, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in a field I had zero interest in.

A Second Chance—Almost

By my late-20s, I had an opportunity to pursue another degree, this time funded by my employer. You’d think I would have chosen Psychology. But once again, I let others influence my decision. My superiors recommended a degree that would advance my career, so I chose a Master’s in Management. It took me years to complete, but I finally earned the degree shortly after giving birth to my child.

Was I happy? Not really. But I was proud of the accomplishment.

Searching for Fulfillment

Now, in my mid-40s, and as a stay-at-home parent, I often find myself bored, craving something to keep me engaged and productive outside of mom/wife duties. I’ve tried different paths—culinary arts, medical billing, coding, even running my own business—but nothing truly held my interest.

One day, I discovered a Barnes & Noble bookstore nearby. I wandered inside and stumbled upon a book by Rhee Kun Hoo, If You Live to 100, You Might As Well Be Happy. One particular passage stood out to me—it emphasized the importance of keeping the brain active by learning something new, taking a class in a subject that truly interests you, or simply for the sake of learning.

That struck a chord. It made complete sense to me.

Finally, Psychology

Luckily, I still had unused educational benefits from my previous employer, so I made a bold decision—I enrolled in a second bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I just finished my second semester, and while it requires a lot of reading, writing, and research, I love it. Unlike any other classes I’ve taken before, these make me eager to learn more, read more, and apply what I’ve studied.

Looking back, it all makes sense—I’ve always been drawn to books about psychology and self-help, fascinated by human behavior, personal growth, and the way our minds work. Maybe this passion was always there, waiting for me to finally recognize it.

But as I near the end of my educational benefits, I can’t help but reflect on the past. Where would I be now if I had pursued this degree earlier in life? Would I have become a counselor or a social worker? Would I be doing something I genuinely love? At this point in my life, would it still be worth it?

I’m only in my third semester, but I’ve never felt so captivated by a subject. Maybe I’ll find a funding means without getting into too much debt should I decide to further my education, earn a second master’s degree, and even get licensed. I know it would take time, money, and resources, but I regret not realizing sooner that this was my true passion.

For now, I’m going to make the most of this opportunity—soaking in every lesson, every concept, and every discussion—because I finally feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.